Yesterday, July 11, 2011, I had a very special experience with Alexei and a revelation too.
Nikita was already in bed, Troy was working downstairs, and Alexei and I were reading our last book before his bedtime. The book was Love You Forever. Every time I read it it brings tears to my eyes. This time was a little different…

Halfway through the book Alexei noticed that the picture of the mother changed. On the first pages of the book she looked young and beautiful. On the following pages she wore glasses and looked older and at the end she had gray hair, looked really old and was sick. He asked me why she changed. I explained to him that people get old. Alexei didn’t like that and really wanted the picture of the mother to be the same on all the pages.

Then he asked a question that concerned him most. “Will Mama get old too?” I said yes, and I was glad that he got the concept! He pointed at me and asked “This Mama?” “Yes.” He kept asking me the same questions several times and then added the word “soon” to them. I said yes. He asked if I would be older when Santa Claus comes. I said yes. But then I saw tears in his eyes. Half crying he said “Will there be a new Mama then? Alexei wants new Mama!” and he cried even more.

I finally realized that I made a big mistake. I tried to correct myself real quick. I told him that actually I wouldn’t get old soon, that I would need to have a lot of birthdays before I get old. He asked “What about Christmas?” I said that we would celebrate lots of Christmases too before Mama would get old.

I held him on my lap as comfortably as my belly could allow and suddenly it dawned on me that my son LOVES ME VERY MUCH! We both cried. I tried not to show Alexei that I was crying too. We sat quiet for a while. It was past Alexei’s bedtime. I needed him to go to sleep. So, after telling each other that we love each other, I asked him to go to the bathroom one more time. When he went downstairs he remembered to bring a glass of water for me and put it on my bedside table.

Alexei is a very special and sweet little boy. Thank you God for giving him to me.